The Bread of God

 I came across these quotes from St. Ignatius again yesterday. These are very encouraging words that remind me to live is Christ, to die is gain. Our faith is a paradox. I have to die if I want to live.

While St. Ignatius was going to his physical death, I am called to pick up my cross daily.... with my wife, my family, my church, my co-workers and the world. We don't consider ourselves dead for the sake of death, but for the paradox that we find True Life in our daily dying to self-will.

... request on my behalf both inward and outward strength, ... that I may not merely be called a Christian, but really found to be one. For if I be truly found a Christian, I may also be called one, and be then deemed faithful, when I shall no longer appear to the world.

Nothing visible is eternal. For the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal. The Christian is not the result of persuasion, but of power. When he is hated by the world, he is beloved of God. For says the Scripture, "If You were of this world, the world would love its own; but now You are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of it: continue in fellowship with me.

I write to all the Churches, and impress on them all, that I shall willingly die for God, unless you hinder me. I beseech of you not to show an unseasonable good-will towards me.

Icon of Saint Ignatius of Antioch
St. Ignatius of Antioch

Suffer me to become food for the wild beasts, through whose instrumentality it will be granted me to attain to God. I am the wheat of God, and am ground by the teeth of the wild beasts, that I may be found the pure bread of God. Rather entice the wild beasts, that they may become my tomb, and may leave nothing of my body; so that when I have fallen asleep in death, I may not be found troublesome to any one. Then shall I be a true disciple of Jesus Christ, when the world shall not see so much as my body. Entreat the Lord for me, that by these instruments I may be found a sacrifice to God.

… But when I suffer, I shall be the freed-man of Jesus Christ, and shall rise again emancipated in Him. And now, being in bonds for Him, I learn not to desire anything worldly or vain. —Letter to the Romans, III & IV

I read the above, and I think, I am a spiritual caveman—not very advanced—but that doesn't bother me as long as, by God's grace, I keep my eyes on Jesus. And as brutish as it may seem to some, I'm inspired by St. Ignatius to ask God for a hard life, to accept the difficult challenges instead of trying to break away from them, knowing by both Example, Promise and past experience, to live is Christ, and to die is gain.

Lord have mercy—help me to not shrink from the challenges, the deaths that I must die, and to not live for "me", but to endure hardship, accepting my cross and bearing it with honor. Let my own will be like food for wild beasts to devour, so that I might also become, in your grace, the bread of God. Not in some courtroom transaction that happens to me, but in the reality of here and now, where your Spirit of Life happens in me. Help me to be like St. Ignatius, who is himself like Christ.

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